My friend Joy is the leader of his voluntary weekend charity group, he is enthusiastic fellow who wants to do it all, but often his over-ambitious attitude is misunderstood by the group leading to internal conflicts. He came to the conference this Sunday. After attending the convention my friends and I love to hang out at a cafe with hot and spicy samosas and warm, refreshing cups of tea.
We all sat around the table but Joy reached for the corner seat by the window and was constantly looking out, lost in himself. In the middle of our usual banter, I broke Joy’s silence by asking him, how come he was not rushing to his usual weekend projects by now? Joy looked at me with despair in his eyes. He said the weekend project was in an orphanage but it stands cancelled as his team betrayed him at the last moment. He said with anger pouring with every word, “Their pace is like the turtle and commitments as frail as…” he pointed out to a plastic bag that was flying directionless on the windy day.”
“Joy, hold on! May be they have other priorities. Don’t judge people,” I said. Joy was defensive and retorted aggressively, “Then why would they commit to be a part of the team.”
He was clearly in a state that needed our attention. He had lost hope in his team and in himself and they were reflecting the same disappointment towards him. He has always been a leader from his childhood and had volunteered for a number of projects. It wasn’t a happy place to be in.
One of the group members asked me to step in. Having studied NLP and emotional intelligence, human behavior and the dynamics of interpersonal relationships have always intrigued me and so I really wanted to intervene and make Joy see the world with more empathy and understanding.
We have all been there. Conflicts happen not just at work but in families too. Ego clashes are a commonplace in all relationships. So, how do we maintain the balance?
I asked Joy, “Have you ever seen a pendulum oscillating?” He nodded affirmatively and then retorted, “So what’s the pendulum got to do with my problem here?”
“Imagine a pendulum” I answered, “the higher you lift it in one direction, the more power to swing up on the other side will you give it. You will perhaps notice the power in it’s weight and resistance, when you let it go. Also, the pendulum oscillates full swing to either side but ultimately it rests in a moderate position beween the two extremities. If the mean position shifts, its path will change and it will not serve its purpose.
What I mean to say with this analogy is that, no matter how much passion you have for something always know how to balance it with the other people’s purpose and pace if you want to work together as a team. When you are aligned with your intention you don’t get lost. You stick to your trajectory no matter what. The balancing power lies within you.”
If we know how to simmer our passion when needed and align our goals we will never face the conflict of pace and purpose.
All my friends were in deep thoughts. In their minds they were relating to their situations and this analogy of alignment resonated with everyone. We generally sway and get scattered forgetting to pause and take stock of ourselves and our ecology.
We need to slow down to decrease the massive resistance we get sometimes from the environement around us or even from our mind and body, the diseases are signaling for us to notice the oscilation and the resistance within. Are we pulling too much in one direction?
Joy seemed to have understood where our conversation was leading. Indeed his ambition had overtaken him and in that pull of passion he had forgotten the essence of inspiring his team rather than enforcing them and he was met with an equally strong opposition. He realized the significance of aligning purposes of each one in his team with the main vision for which they have set out in the first place… the resting place, the mean poition is the “why” of each member in his team.
“Let go until it balances itself. Breathe, pause and reflect. Yoga helps a ton in remaining mindful”. I suggested.
‘Yoga’ which is nothing but alignment of mind, body and spirit. With International Yoga Day coming we all must remind ourselves and others around us about the importance of stillness and equanimity. Whenever we tip the scales, we will face the friction. We must know when it is time to step in, step out and step aside.
Joy was looking relaxed and we all pepped him up. The reminder was for all of us too. Somewhere in some areas of life we were all facing imbalance and this was a much needed conversation we had on the Sunday morning with sips of warm tea and smiles of sweet realization.
*Originally Posted in 123greetingCom Blog by Shreeja Jhawar Alias Editor Bob (2015-2019)