“The night you gave up on her is the night she gave up on her too.”
“The Covid19 is spreading its terror, keeping people locked in their homes or hospitals which have now become a fear centre.” As I entered my friend’s home, I heard the blaring news channel hollering about the morbid Covid19, the tragic and mysterious suicide of a young and bright Indian actor Sushant Singh Rajput and the dreadful revelation of lungs cancer of the popular star who’s always been in the news,not for the right reasons, the star-crossed Sanjay Dutt. The screen soon flooded with the pictures of swamped homes and people killed in the monsoon floods in the southern and western India. I snatched the remote from her hands and lowered the volume.
Amid all of these “unprecedented” 2020 tribulations, my friend Neha, was going through her darkest moments too. It may be trivial in comparison to an entire world breaking down but her loss meant everything to her.
She was constantly being slighted by her boyfriend in the past months. Avoidance came with a host of excuses from work to folks and friends but ultimately he broke up with her. She only heard his first few words that left her lifeless, “I think it’s over,” he continued but the words did not matter, the lame reasons were of no importance to her. She felt her entire future crashing down in front of her eyes. She had given him a piece of her soul, she did not know how to move on. He was her today and her tomorrow. She was lost. He went on and on justifying himself but she knew she had become an embarrassment for him, her uncontrolled emotional outbursts and her growing weight made her undesirable to him.
He wasn’t ready to accept his relationship with her in front of his friends, always belittling her. She would also laugh it away despite of her heart’s warning she would play along with him on his terms.
Finally the game was over. I met her after a long time, for like all I was cooped up in my home owing to the lockdown and what I saw shook me, she wasn’t her usual self, always bubbly, smiling, welcoming rather she was broken, quiet and laid under the weight of her misery. She’d lost her vivacity, her confidence and her laughter. Her effort to smile at me was a pretence, she wasn’t herself.
Can love drain you like that? I asked myself. Wasn’t love compared to life? The dichotomy puzzled me until I realized that love starts with the self and then spills over to the rest of the world. Your cup cannot be empty at any given moment. Keep filling it up.
I decided to make her well-being my goal and she needs to get back to a state of innate freedom physically, emotionally and mentally.
I told her mustering all courage in my voice trying hard not to choke, “You treat this as a challenge that you can overcome or a catastrophe that wrecked you for good, it’s your choice.”
She looked up at me with so much hopelessness in her eyes that it tore me apart. I am an empath and almost feel the pain of my people. It reminds me of the helpless moments of my life. Who doesn’t have a story after all? But, I will make hers a winning one. I want to gift her the renewed, shining person that she is underneath the filth of this situation. She will want to fall in love with herself more than anyone else. I wanted her to start working on her mind, body and spirit.
I need your support as I work with my friend. Let’s together get her connected to the internal universe and align her with the beauty within her that needs no validation.
Weight gain is often a result of negligence of the self, a sloppy lifestyle and part of it is also an emotional defense that the body develops says psychologists around the world. With correction in lifestyle choices and maintaining a cheerful state of mind one can help combat the disease of obesity. Assertiveness is another significant attribute to have if you are too vulnerable in life.
So, my day begins with a new journey along with my friend and once again I choose to paint the canvas with vibrant colors of joy where it’s faded. I want her to weave new dreams around herself and make them come true.
I turned to leave with a promise to revisit soon. I almost commanded her and silently to myself too, to not give up and she nodded with a silent tear freely escaping from her eyes.
The news is still going on animatedly but wait a minute, why’s the news reporter beaming? I turn up the volume and listen to the latest breakthrough Russia has had in developing the vaccine for the noxious corona virus, my heart skips a beat and alas I see the clouds parting and sun shining in right through the gaps. Good days are coming.
I wear my mask and stroll out of her house to my car. I feel hopeful, purposeful and positive. My cup of love is spilling all over.
Stay with me on the journey. See you in the comments.
*Some parts of it originally published by me in 123greetings as an Alias of Editor Bob